(Editor’s note: updated 2/8/2024)

Tesla, the American automaker owned by electronic musician Grimes’ on-again-of-again “situationship” Elon Musk, continues to be one of the most popular and ubiquitous electric vehicles on the road. Despite the bad press surrounding the erstwhile richest man in the world’s stewardship over X (formerly known as Twitter), the enthusiasm for new (and used) Tesla electric vehicles remains high – and not just among Musk fanboys, as one might assume.

Since becoming one of the pioneering electric-only car companies, Tesla has had its fair share of controversies, blow-ups (both literal and figurative), and general bad vibes. The quintessential example of the adage “no such thing as bad press,” Tesla’s engineers are known for setting the pace within the industry (for better or worse) and the end result has been consistently impressive – with sales to match.

The Tesla landscape in 2023

If you’re thinking about going all-in on Mr. Musk’s latest mystery machines, some patience might pay off in the long run. Tesla continues to cut the MSRP for its cars, with further reductions expected following yet another earnings miss and waning investor confidence. Otherwise, you can find a used Tesla for less than the price of a base Nissan Altima, especially the Model 3.

For some bleak outsider comedy, the transcripts from the earnings call are out there – and they feature moments like this one that prove Elon totally knows what pennies are and also definitely watched Game of Thrones.

It’s like Game of Thrones but pennies. I mean, first approximation, if you’ve got a $40,000 car, and roughly 10,000 items in that car, that means each thing, on average, costs $4. So, in order to get the cost down, say, by 10%, you have to get $0.40 out of each part on average. It is a game of pennies.

Elon Musk – Tesla Q3 2023 Earnings Call

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What’s next for Tesla in 2024 and beyond?

Now that we’ve got that all out of the way, let’s get to the fun stuff. As mentioned above, Tesla continues to innovate in the electric vehicle space. The American automaker’s upcoming roadmap includes a production fleet of Tesla Semi trucks, a refreshed Roadster 2.0, the diminutive “Compact EV” (also known as the Model 2 or “Redwood”, and, of course, the elephant-colored chunk of metal in the room – the Cybertruck.

UPDATE 3/15/2024: We’ve updated this article with some information about the refreshed Tesla Model 3 (codename “Highland”) that is starting to appear stateside as well as some updates on the Model 2.

2024 Tesla Model 3 (Highland)

When the entry-level Tesla Model 3 first hit the scene in 2017, it instantly received good reviews. Finally Tesla was catering to the “budget” car consumer, without sacrificing (much) in the way of performance, range, or features. The first time I rode in a Model 3 I was completely blown away by how spacious the main cabin was. With the Model 3’s first major refresh since its launch, the 2024 Tesla Model 3 Highland improves on many of these already excellent details.

The most noticeable change is the front slope of the hood and the shape of the headlights, now with a more “sports-car” looking silhouette and (allegedly) improved aerodynamics, which should result in increased range. Codenamed “Highland” during development, this car has been available overseas since late 2023 and are starting to roll out stateside as we speak.

As of writing, the 2024 Tesla Model 3 is available in two trim levels, a single-motor (RWD) version and a dual-motor (AWD) version, leaving questions as to if they’ll be bringing back the “Performance Model” Tesla 3 from previous model years. We will update this section if we hear more about this trim level returning.

From initial looks at the Tesla Model 3 refresh, it seems like the cabin is (somehow) even more spacious than in the first edition. The spartan design cues are still there, so expect clean lines and a massive center console infotainment screen. The rear seats fold flat, meaning you can fit as many as 15 full-sized suitcases inside (apparently).

2024 Tesla Model 3 (Highland) specs

• MSRP: $40,630 (single-motor/RWD), $47,630 (dual-motor/AWD)
• 0 to 60 mph: 5.8s (single-motor), 4.2s (dual-motor)
• Top speed: 140mph (single-motor), 145mph (dual-motor)
• Weight: 3,862 pounds (single-motor), 4,034 pounds (dual-motor)
• Battery capacity: 50.40 kWh (single-motor), 75.00 kWh (dual-motor)
• Range: 272 (single-motor), 333 (dual-motor)
• Seating: 5 adults
• Cargo volume: 23 cubic feet

Tesla Compact EV/Model 2/Redwood

UPDATED 3/15/2024: Tesla has now slated the Compact EV (sometimes called the Model 2 or referred to by its codename “Redwood” for a late 2025 debut (although we have reason to doubt this.) We’ve updated this section with new information.

While the Model 3 made waves in the “entry-level” EV world, upstart electric vehicle makers across the world have been scrambling to create a truly populist vehicle. Something accessible to everyone, reliable, and if possible, fun to drive. For years there have been rumbles from the Tesla team that a sub-$25k MSRP compact EV could be in the offing. Tesla teased the design by sharing this sketch back in 2020.

We’re excited to see what comes from this development process, because a $25,000 MSRP Tesla could be exactly the thing that kicks the electric vehicle revolution into high gear. This will also allow Tesla to compete in markets like China and other parts of world where super-low priced EVs are a dime a dozen.

According to CarScoops, the initial production run of the Tesla Model 2 will be produced at Tesla’s Shanghai Gigafactory in China, but the automaker may opt to have regional plants build cars for other markets.

Now, back to that promised late-2025 production window… A potential wrench has been thrown into the works by investment firm Evercore according to a recent report by Fortune. The money men (and presumably some women) toured Tesla’s Gigafactory Texas facility and were less than impressed with what they found.

Evercore’s report began on a dour note, with lead analyst Chris McNally declaring that “Tesla is increasingly a 2027 story.” This means they don’t imagine the budget-level Model 2 will enter production before 2027 and that would only be if the automaker is able to get the cost-of-goods down to well below MSRP. As always, we will update this article when we hear more.

Tesla Model 2/Q/C Specs

• Expected model year: reportedly 2025, possibly 2027
• Expected MSRP: $25,000
• Expected 0 to 60: 5 seconds
• Expected top speed: 120mph (193 kmh)
• Expected battery capacity: 75 kWh
• Expected battery range: 279 miles (single motor)

Cybertruck (SURPRISINGLY, IT’S FINALLY HERE)

Let me start this section with an apology.

If you follow me on Twitter or know me IRL, you’ve probably heard me make fun of the Cybertruck. Maybe you’ve seen me make fun of the way it looks, or the door panels don’t align, or how it couldn’t jump a small curb in “off-road mode”, or how its basic design flaws were costing the company untold millions. You definitely would’ve seen me make fun of the time he revealed the Cybertruck to investors by smashing its supposedly unbreakable window with a rock.

Welp. Against many people’s negative outlook, the Cybertruck is finally here for U.S. orders in 2024. And that’s despite the testing hiccups that have occurred over this truck’s gestation period. The prototypes were breaking down like crazy, and the model year was pushed to 2025. It certainly doesn’t inspire much confidence that Elon Musk is saying things like “[Tesla] dug our own grave with the Cybertruck” on investor calls.

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So yeah, there’s been a lot to make fun of with the Telsa Cybertruck, but this past week Elon completely redeemed himself. Oh no, I’m still joking, all he did was shoot it with a danged Tommy Gun – surely this will make the Cybertruck the #1 choice of getaway vehicle for old-timey scofflaws, rascals, and ne’er-do-wells.

BREAKING: @tesla Cybertruck can handle Tommy Gun bullets. 📐👽💀🔥📸

Seen in Fremont. pic.twitter.com/9dEs6llk2k

— Tesla Owners Silicon Valley (@teslaownersSV) October 20, 2023

There isn’t really much else to say about the Tesla Cybertruck that hasn’t already been said. At the moment of writing, Tesla is claiming a production run that’ll start in 2024, but even long-time fans are starting to lose faith. As a recent post on r/RealTesla (the Subreddit for Tesla drivers who haven’t “drank the Elon-Ade”) calls out:

While I have little faith in humanity left, surely nobody is going to actually buy a CyberTruck, right?

I just can’t imagine the shame.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be “that guy”?

Would you confuse all the smirking attention for admiration? I can’t get my head around the mental gymnastics it would take to buy, own and drive one.

Additionally, can you imagine the type of person who would buy one? Like, just think about it for a second. It’s horrible!

u/St3fanz on r/RealTesla

Tesla Cybertruck Info:

• MSRP: $60,990 (Rear-Wheel Drive), $79,990 (All-Wheel Drive), $99,990 (Cyberbeast)
• 0 to 60 mph: 6.5 seconds (single motor), 4.1 seconds (dual motor), 2.6 seconds (Cyberbeast)
• Top speed: 130 mph
• Weight: 6,843 pounds
• Towing: 7,500 lbs (Rear-Wheel Drive) 11,000 lbs, (All-Wheel Drive), 11,000 lbs Cyberbeast)
• Battery capacity: 123 kWh
• Range: 250 mi (Rear-Wheel Drive), 340 mi (All-Wheel Drive), 320 mi (Cyberbeast)
• Seating: 5 adults
• Cargo volume: 120.9 cubic feet

Roadster 2.0 (maybe?)

When the original Tesla Roadster was announced for production in 2008, the upstart carmaker’s first release boasted some eye-popping stats. The sleek, futuristic design felt right for the advanced electric motor hidden within that could accelerate from 0 to 60 in 3.9 seconds. Throughout its lifespan, the Roadster has seen MSRPs for competitive models balloon, making the 2009 edition’s $98,000 price tag seem quaint in comparison. The original run of Tesla Roadsters ended in 2012 despite the 2010 model being Elon’s daily driver of choice. Since getting blasted off into literal space on the back of a goddamn rocket, the O.G. Tesla hasn’t made many headlines, so a refresh shouldn’t surprise anyone.

While official details are hard to find, it’s clear that the new model of the Tesla Roadster will pick up where version one left off. It will be sleek, it will be stylish, it will be full of next-level tech, it will be fast, and you’d better believe your ass that it is going to be expensive. The Tesla Roadster is not an entry-level electric vehicle and we can’t wait to see how it compares to the original. Unfortunately, for now, all we can do is poke around the internet for some concept art and dream of yet another high-performance vehicle we simply cannot afford.

Tesla Roadster 2.0 info:

• Expected model year: 2026
• Expected MSRP: $200,000 (Founder’s edition: $250,000)
• Expected 0 to 60 mph: 1.9 seconds
• Expected top speed: 250mph (403 kmh)
• Expected battery capacity: 200 kWh
• Expected battery range: 620 mi (998km)

Tesla Semi

The Tesla Semi truck was called “badass” when the company announced it way back in 2017 and while the aggressively futuristic freight vehicle has impressed in the abstract, the rollout has been a bit of a mess. Musk’s notoriously dodgy PR is at least partially to blame for the confusion, according to my new favorite website Freight Waves,

Trucks in the United States are allowed to weigh a maximum of 80,000 pounds, including the tractor, the trailer and everything you’re fitting inside. Electric trucks, like the Semi, are allowed to weigh 82,000 pounds. Companies typically want to haul as much as they can in a single truck, so getting close to that 80,000-pound limit is ideal.

However, Tesla, which did not respond to a press inquiry, has not released information on how much the truck actually weighs.

That limits what the Semi is able to haul, and for how long. Right now, snack and beverage behemoth PepsiCo is the only company to have received its Tesla Semis. It has three dozen electric big rigs servicing two California warehouses.

From one base in Modesto, California, 15 Tesla Semis are hauling Frito-Lay products up to 425 miles, according to a 2022 Reuters article. That means potato chips and other snack foods — a (literally) low-lift task. From another base in Sacramento, California, 31 Tesla Semis are hauling loads of soda. It’s a much heavier load, but these trips are around 100 miles, per Reuters. 

That would make the Tesla Semi a less versatile truck than a traditional option, where you know what it weighs and how long a distance it can handle. When communicating to a commercial audience, it’s crucial to include those details.

Rachel Premack – Freight Waves

Most recently, the Tesla Semis that have been put into use had a major safety recall after the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) discovered the electric trucks could “fail to move into the park position when the parking brake is activated,” which is kind of an important thing for a 30,000+ lb truck to be able to do.

• Expected model year: 2025
• Expected MSRP: $250,000+
• Expected battery capacity: 950 kWh
• Expected 0 to 60: 20 seconds
• Expected maximum gross combined weight: 82,000 lbs
• Expected battery range: 300-500 mi

FAQs

So, there we have it, every new vehicle Tesla claims will be released in the next few years. We’ll keep this page updated when more details come in, but candidly I would not be surprised if at least one of these models fails to materialize before 2030. Maybe I’m being a pessimist, but then I look at the Cybertruck and I know deep in my soul I am right.

When will Tesla release the Tesla Roadster 2.0?

The Second-Generation Tesla Roadster was teased in 2017, but hard details are difficult to find. At the time of publication, the Tesla Roadster 2.0 is rumored to be part of the 2026 model year.

When will Tesla release the Tesla Model 2/Q/C?

While Tesla has been teasing it for a while now, details about the hatchback Tesla Model 2 (also known as the Model Q or Model C) are scarce. This entry-level electric vehicle will have an MSRP of around $25,000 and could be part of the 2026 model year.

When will Tesla release the Tesla Semi Truck?

A fleet of Tesla Semi Trucks was delivered to PepsiCo in Sacramento, CA late last year, but the production model has not yet surfaced. Based on the relative lack of updates, we’re anticipating more information in 2024 and beyond.

Ever since amateur martial arts enthusiast and Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced the Tesla Cybertruck back in 2019 by throwing a danged metal ball into one of the electric pickup truck’s supposedly “unbreakable” windows, the internet has had questions. Why does it look like that? Will it really be $40,000? Is it actually going to have a 500-mile range on a single charge? And most importantly, is the Cybertruck safe?

The answers to a majority of these questions have been “no,” “probably not,” or “we don’t know,” and pretty much every day the Cybertruck’s reputation suffers a new indignity. For instance, this gem courtesy of the “Rides That’ll Beat Your Ass” account on Musk’s X platform (formerly Twitter):

Christmas is coming early this year 🥹

pic.twitter.com/6s5vvFEJla https://t.co/VJOuX6gP9a

— 𝓡𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽’𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓐𝓼𝓼 (@ass_beaters) December 12, 2023

Down the thread, username “Ass_Beaters” provides additional context, namely that this was a prototype, so it lacked recovery or pickup points and, therefore, had to be towed by the suspension. I cannot say for sure, because I have still not seen a Cybertruck in person, but that is probably not the best way to tow one. It’s unfair to judge a prototype model, as it was built for testing and proving certain engineering specs, but let’s be honest, that doesn’t make it not funny.

Did the Tesla Cybertruck pass crash tests?

When the first production models of the Tesla Cybertruck rolled off the production line at the Austin, TX Gigafactory, reporters, enthusiasts, and internet shitposters alike all wondered aloud how it could’ve ever passed NHTSA crash safety ratings. Especially with the distressing videos released by the automaker itself (look at how the dummy in the back goes flying):

Tesla Cybertruck Showed Impressive Results In Crash And Safety Test!

The truck went under multiple tests including frontal crash and rollover tests.

Footage showed that during a full frontal crash the Cybertruck stayed largely intact while colliding with a wall at 35 mph. It… pic.twitter.com/gaTLY4uaHr

— Salt (@SaltFlash) December 6, 2023

Keeping in the spirit of Elon’s “fuck it, we’ll do it live” ethos, the Cybertruck team has continued crash testing the Blade Runner-inspired EV pickup truck and just today shared some new footage, where at least the side airbags deploy so we don’t have to see the poor crash test dummy’s brain get turned to mush:

It's not about the size of your crumple zone, it's about how you use it

When in a high-speed collision, Cybertruck’s front underbody casting is designed to break into small pieces. This helps reduce occupant impact by absorbing & dispensing energy pic.twitter.com/84JiGzzw1M

— Cybertruck (@cybertruck) December 12, 2023

So how exactly did the Tesla Cybertruck pass the NHTSA’s crash tests? Well, that’s an easy one – it didn’t! As Teslarati noticed earlier this week, Tesla’s new EV pickup truck was added to the safety watchdog’s database, but with ratings conspicuously absent.

That said, digging a bit deeper, you’ll find that apparently millions of cars are sold every year without verified independent crash testing, and even the insurance company-based IIHS (Insurance Institute for Highway Safety) has to pick and choose which cars they’ll test and/or assign ratings to.

One thing’s for sure, Tesla assures that you’ll be safe if a couple of accountants jacked up on Sam Adams Lagers from the 19th hole decide to go absolutely goblin mode on your Cybertruck:

Come on break the Cybertruck 💪🏻#Cybertruck #Tesla #Optimus pic.twitter.com/QaDxznh9wZ

— Tesla Motors Community (@CommunityTesla) December 13, 2023

So… Did the Tesla Cybertruck pass crash tests? We’ll give this one a rating of “possibly.” As evidenced by the videos above, Tesla is clearly doing a lot of in-house testing and if not, at least they have an army of weirdos who pay Elon $8 a month for the privilege of saying how normal and cool the tests look. According to CarBuzz, it will likely be a while until the Cybertruck reaches the sales volume to necessitate a proper NHTSA or IIHS review, so we’ll keep you updated if we hear anything official.

That said, it seems unlikely that Elon would want to be known as the guy who killed Jay Leno or Spike Lee, so let’s hope that they’ve crash-tested the Cybertruck.

Jay Leno runs errands in Cybertruck and more star snaps https://t.co/8upmHQqJHy pic.twitter.com/NhiqeO2HNm

— Page Six (@PageSix) December 7, 2023

Can the Tesla Cybetruck be shot with a Tommy Gun and/or arrows?

We’ll cut right to the chase. We’ve already mentioned this before, but yes, Tesla is making the claim that if your Tesla Cybertruck is shot with rounds from a Tommy Gun, you should be safe inside. This could come in handy if those accountants above are cosplaying as old-timey rascals and/or scofflaws.

Broke the internet today as we confirmed that the Cyvertruck is bulletproof

"We emptied the entire drum magazine of a Tommy gun into the driver door Al Capone style. No bullets penetrated into the passenger compartment."

– Elon Musk pic.twitter.com/wBr9mNrLl7

— Tesla Owners Silicon Valley (@teslaownersSV) October 21, 2023

And if you find yourself at the wrong end of the Battle of the Five Armies and an Orc who looks suspiciously like Joe Rogan has you in his sights, your Cybertruck should survive the onslaught.

Joe Rohan shatters an arrow on Cybertruck that would easily go through a normal car pic.twitter.com/XSMjnoE5Xp

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 31, 2023

That said, we still haven’t seen any news about the windows, which Elon famously shattered with a danged metal ball at an investor event in 2019. Despite the automaker remaining mum on whether or not the windows will be bulletproof as well, Tesla did sell out of what we have to assume is a relatively short run of $55 window decals commemorating the moment. Considering the fact that there are only 10 non-prototype Tesla Cybertrucks on the road, it’s hard to imagine who purchased these.

Does the Tesla Cybertruck have crumple zones?

Ever since the Tesla Cybertruck was announced, folks across the internet wondered about one key detail. Musk intimated that the EV pickup truck would lack traditional “crumple zones” in favor of an “exoskeleton” build. As Jameson Dow of Electrek explained back in 2019, based on the initial designs:

Tesla’s Cybertruck design differs from traditional autos because it uses a stainless steel exoskeleton instead of a traditional body-on-frame design.  In the traditional design, the car body doesn’t have as much structural integrity and is mainly used for aerodynamic and styling purposes, and to protect occupants from the elements.

In the Cybertruck’s design, the entire vehicle exterior is used as a stressed member, allowing it to do double duty as both the body and the frame.  This reduces complexity, and since Tesla is using ultra-hard steel, increases sturdiness of the vehicle’s exterior.

Jameson Dow – Electrek

If you’ve never heard of “crumple zones” before, it’s because they’re something that’s been relatively standard practice in vehicle design since the 70s. According to Traveler’s insurance, the first cars built with “weaker” zones that are meant to absorb, rather than withstand impact were Mercedes-Benz as early as 1959. As this delightful Australian man explains, by absorbing that kinetic energy, less force ends up being applied to the passengers inside the vehicle, preventing or mitigating injury.

Compare the crumple zone footage in that video (or any of the thousands of videos on YouTube explaining the basic concept of crumple zones) to this rendering that has been shared uncritically by Cybertruck-friendly accounts:

Crash test physics simulations of the new Tesla Cybertruck are very impressive pic.twitter.com/XAtaWgX62s

— Chief Nerd (@TheChiefNerd) November 28, 2023

So, to answer the question of whether the Tesla Cybertruck has crumple zones? The answer is no. Or maybe “apparently not.” I have a funny feeling this isn’t the last we’ll be hearing about this topic. I saw someone on Twitter claim that the Tesla Cybertruck doesn’t need crumple zones because it will “use all the other cars’ crumple zones” in an accident. I honestly couldn’t tell if the account was satire, so I’m going to leave that factoid as anecdotal.

Either way, a bunch of Tesla fanboys went absolutely nutso after Ralph Nader’s non-profit made fun of the Cybertruck, so clearly they’re going through it.

At over 6k lbs no one will ever doubt your manhood again. We get it. You were picked last in gym and now you want revenge. But this isn't the answer. Buying this is why you were picked last. It's desperate and dangerous to everyone else on the road. Stop being picked last. pic.twitter.com/FfsUkz4vbf

— Center for Auto Safety (@Ctr4AutoSafety) December 7, 2023

Is the Tesla Cybertruck safe for pedestrians?

A recent New York Times interactive piece highlighted how pedestrian deaths have been on a steady rise since hitting an all-time low in 1980. Street safety advocacy groups link this to a number of different causes, including city planning, street engineering, and, frankly, the ever-increasing size of American SUVs and trucks.

“Now imagine distracted drivers in monster trucks on high-speed roads in the dark.”

Why the explosion of pedestrian deaths in the U.S. especially at night?

– fast, dangerous road designs
– cell phones & other distractions
– bigger vehicles, bad designshttps://t.co/Yrf492niuH pic.twitter.com/sQuwOPsmAY

— Brent Toderian (@BrentToderian) December 11, 2023

As you probably know, the Tesla Cybertruck is based on Blade Runner. Or at least it’s a truck that “Blade Runner” (the guy) might drive. That’s why it looks like something your 8-year-old nephew would build in Minecraft. Also, apparently, the reason why the Cybertruck is so pointy is that to make the metal bulletproof, you have to make the truck pointy. Don’t take my word for it, Elon himself said that he tried to bend the metal but it broke the machines.

Reason Cybertruck is so planar is that you can’t stamp ultra-hard 30X steel, because it breaks the stamping press

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 24, 2019

If this rhetorical tactic sounds familiar, it’s the same one Jenna Maroney from 30 Rock employed when she said she can’t “watch American Idol becaue [she has] perfect pitch.” Either way, the car is sharp as hell, and it might make you wonder, “How did the Cybertruck pass pedestrian crash tests?” Well, the answer to that one’s easy! It didn’t have to.

But it’s unfair to peg that one on Tesla because the United States has no standardized means of evaluating whether or not a vehicle in production has been tested for pedestrian safety. Not only that, the NHTSA only proposed adding such an evaluation this year – so it could be a while. In his official capacity as “Head Twit,” Tesla CEO is “highly confident” that the Cybertruck will be safe for pedestrians.

Yes, we are highly confident that Cybertruck will be much safer per mile than other trucks, both for occupants and pedestrians https://t.co/RydoYYn4FU

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 5, 2023

Fortunately, if you’re in Europe, you are protected by pedestrian safety regulations. According to Euro NCAP, every vehicle sold in the EU must pass VRU (Vulnerable Road User) Protection tests. These tests measure how well new vehicles “protect those vulnerable road users – pedestrians and cyclists – with whom they might collide,” including “the potential risks of injuries to a pedestrian’s head, pelvis, upper and lower leg.”

To Tesla’s credit, their confidence that the Cybertruck will (eventually) pass EU safety regulations seems to be more reliant on the design of its autopilot and full-self-driving systems, which should be hitting European streets and highways in the coming years. Seems like a bit of mixed messaging, given that Tesla just recalled basically every vehicle it has ever sold in the U.S. for a mandatory software update to Autopilot and FSD.

So, to answer the question of whether the Tesla Cybertruck is safe for pedestrians? The answer is “we don’t know, but probably not.” And then you could probably add a little something like, “But to be fair, there are very few trucks sold in America that are probably very safe for pedestrians.” And then you can kind of just shrug and walk away and hope no one asks for any follow-ups.

Is Tesla Cyberbeer Safe?

In case you were planning on paying $75 for a bottle of “Tesla Cyberbeer,” we recommend following the advice of Brian Stone, whose profile proudly claims that he owns not one, but two cars. This is clearly absurd because, as we all know, triples are best.

Tesla Cyberbeer is hot garbage. Not only is the lid RUSTED but the beer is also nasty. This was a miss @elonmusk pic.twitter.com/Gb9u8YOc7X

— Brian Stone (@briandstone__) November 15, 2023

Conclusion: Is the Tesla Cybertruck safe?

We’ve had our fun today, but what you’re all wondering is whether or not Tesla’s Cybertruck electric pickup truck is safe. Unfortunately, the best we can do is say, “honestly, it doesn’t seem like it.” The production models have been on the street for just over two weeks and we’re already seeing videos of people popping off the fender flares with their bare hands:

Cybertruck fenders pop right off.

Not sure if that’s good or bad 😅

Love that they’re easy to replace, but a tree branch while off roading might be an issue

pic.twitter.com/zt3xPDb9ZS

— The Cybertruck Guy (@cybrtrkguy) December 14, 2023

It’s clear that fully grown up boy genius Elon Musk is applying the same operating principle to the Tesla Cybertruck that he does to all of his ventures. Do it on the fly, overpromise and underdeliver, and move on to the next thing before anyone has really investigated your prior claims.

It certainly seems like we will eventually see a version of the Tesla Cybertruck that is safe, reliable, and maybe even user-friendly, but none of the videos we’ve seen (including ones shared by Tesla staff!) have given us any confidence that this will be the game-changing EV pickup truck we’ve been promised for nearly half a decade now. We’d love to be proven wrong.

When Tesla CEO and walking Dunning-Kruger case study Elon Musk announced the Cybertruck in November 2019, he likely hoped to see headlines praising the electric pickup truck’s (then) sub $40,000 price tag and impressive range predictions. Unfortunately for Musk, that particular unveiling is remembered best for a stunning bit of visual metaphor – Elon himself chucking a rock at the prototype and shattering its side window.

The Tesla Cybertruck and its tall tales of controversy

In a way, this moment has been indicative of everything we’ve seen from the Cybertruck thus far. Elon makes a bold claim about the vehicle and how it will change the world of cars and driving forever, and then we see it in action. The results are less than impressive. For instance, despite the Cybertruck’s much-touted all-wheel-drive and adaptive suspension, the past year has been rotten with videos of the electric pickup truck failing at even basic tasks.

Granted, these are pre-production models, so they’re meant to be tested out, but this clip doesn’t exactly support the “self-leveling capabilities [that] adapt to any occasion and assist with every job” claim from Tesla’s site. And it’s not just “bad faith leakers” – just over a month ago, a video of a Cybertruck struggling to get up a section of an off-road test was shared enthusiastically by a member of Telsa’s team.

Tesla Cybertrucks being tested off-road at Hollister Hill RSVA ! 🏜️ pic.twitter.com/abKyBRLLLZ

— Dima Zeniuk (@DimaZeniuk) October 23, 2023

Despite more than two years of delays, Tesla will be delivering the first ten production models of the Cybertruck at a shareholders-only event on November 30, 2023, at the Gigafactory in Austin, TX. Fortunately for the rest of us, Tesla will be live-streaming the shindig, and we’ll update this article if anything newsworthy comes out of it.

pic.twitter.com/P1EE5t8EU2

— Cybertruck (@cybertruck) October 18, 2023

I already poked quite a bit of fun at the Cybertruck in my “Upcoming Tesla electric vehicles” article a few weeks back, so I’m going to attempt to keep this one fairly buttoned up. Cybertruck enthusiasts are clearly going through it (they recently took r/cybertruck private to prevent harassment), so why kick them when they’re down? I mean, these guys are out here paying $75 a bottle for “Tesla Cyberbeer.”

Tesla Cyberbeer is hot garbage. Not only is the lid RUSTED but the beer is also nasty. This was a miss @elonmusk pic.twitter.com/Gb9u8YOc7X

— Brian Stone (@briandstone__) November 15, 2023

Keep reading for a deep dive into everything we know about the Tesla Cybertruck, what to expect for price and electric range, and most importantly: can you shoot it with a Tommy Gun?

2024 Tesla Cybertruck price and trim options

What perfect timing for this to drop, as Tesla has just recently announced fresh deets on its upcoming door stop on wheels.

When it was first announced, the Cybertruck turned heads with its miniscule starting price. The single-motor version would have an MSRP of $39,990 with the double motor at $49,990 and the triple motor at $59,990. That would’ve put the “budget” trim in the same class as a fully loaded Toyota Prius. So that was a no-go.

Current pricing as per Tesla’s recent announcements are as follows. The base rear-drive variant will start at $60,990, the dual-motor all-wheel drive at $79,990, and the flagship high-performance “CyberBeast” at $99,990. Wowza, that’s a fat leap.

Let’s take a look at how the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck’s trim options match up:

2024 Tesla Cybertruck Rear-Wheel Drive

• Starting price: $60,990
• EPA-estimated range: 250 miles

2024 Tesla Cybertruck All-Wheel Drive

• Starting price: $79,990
• EPA-estimated range: 340 miles (470 with extender)

2024 Tesla Cybertruck CyberBeast

• Starting price: $99,990
• EPA-estimated range: 320 miles (440 with extender)

As far as the Cybertruck’s exterior goes, there’s only one factory-available option: stainless steel. That said, someone out there is driving around in a matte black edition, so maybe some more customization is in the offing.

One big question people have been asking about the Cybertruck is “Can you shoot it with a Tommy Gun?” You may be surprised to learn that apparently, yes, you can shoot a Tesla Cybertruck with a Tommy Gun. While this official-seeming Tesla account claims to be “confirming” that the electric pickup truck is (apparently) bulletproof, we’d like to take a moment to say that you should not shoot a Tesla Cybetruck with a Tommy Gun.

Broke the internet today as we confirmed that the Cyvertruck is bulletproof

"We emptied the entire drum magazine of a Tommy gun into the driver door Al Capone style. No bullets penetrated into the passenger compartment."

– Elon Musk pic.twitter.com/wBr9mNrLl7

— Tesla Owners Silicon Valley (@teslaownersSV) October 21, 2023

That said, if Newsradio star and “guy who liked Dana White so much that he became him” Joe Rogan is in your neighborhood, you can invite him over to shoot arrows at your Tesla Cybertruck. Honestly, this might be worth doing, at least you know the drugs will be good.

Joe Rohan shatters an arrow on Cybertruck that would easily go through a normal car pic.twitter.com/XSMjnoE5Xp

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 31, 2023

In fairness to the Tesla Cybertruck, there is a good chance these claims will hold up if the electric pickup truck is truly made with the same stainless steel as SpaceX uses. This is because 3mm of 301 stainless steel should be good enough to stop or at least seriously impede most 9mm handguns (but not rifles, which would explain why Musk opted for the Tommy Gun instead.) Either way, don’t shoot your Tesla Cybertruck with a gun.

2024 Tesla Cybertruck interior and tech

While much has been written about the Tesla Cybertruck’s “Blade Runner-inspired” exterior, we’ve been granted relatively few views of what’s going on inside. It’s safe to assume that it’ll be cavernous, with room to fit six adults comfortably, but early renders raise more questions than answers. What’s going on with the racing-style steering wheel? Why does it look like the dashboard is carved from marble even though it’s made of a composite material? Hopefully, we’ll have more answers after the delivery event.

The Tesla Cybertruck’s cargo bed is also referred to as “the vault” because of its nearly seamless look when fully closed. In official photos, it appears as though the electric pickup truck’s cargo bed can comfortably hold an ATV, but leaked images of pre-production models seem to refute that.

Just a fundamentally unserious vehicle. pic.twitter.com/lXctYiUDNA

— Gatorade Should Be Thicker. (@WinslowDumaine) November 14, 2023

2024 Tesla Cybertruck dimensions:

• Cargo: 120.9 cu. ft.
• Overall length: 223.7 in
• Overall width: 95 in
• Overall height: 70.5 in
• Weight: 6,843 pounds

Also noteworthy is the Cybertruck’s “frunk” or “front trunk” which let’s be honest is cute as heck.

Cybertruck frunk galore. ⚡️👀 pic.twitter.com/7oOQBlpVym

— Teslaconomics (@Teslaconomics) August 5, 2023

2024 Tesla Cybertruck tech features:

• Tesla Autopilot (Full Self Driving optional)
• Dashboard entertainment console

2024 Tesla Cybertruck electric range and charging times

All the little nitty gritty charging details are yet to be revealed, but we thankfully have a small handful from Tesla’s most recent round of fresh information. Expect the Cybertruck to charge at a max rate of 250 kW, with the ability to replenish 128 miles of range within 15 minutes.

Range is appreciably generous for such a hulking brick. Rear-drive base models are expected to reach a reasonable 250 miles, with all-wheel drives hitting 340 miles, and CyberBeasts hitting 320 miles. Interestingly, Tesla notes how the use of an unspecified range extender can stretch the all-wheel drive to a lofty 470 miles and the CyberBeast to 440 miles. What this range extender is and how it operates is yet to be disclosed, but we expect Tesla’s often optimistic range estimates to be tricky to match in real-world conditions.

2024 Tesla Cybertruck motor and performance

At the initial 2019 Tesla Cybertruck announcement, Elon Musk claimed that the tri-motor edition of the Cybertruck would boast the same specs as the Tesla Plaid X. This means the Tesla Cybertruck could have max speeds of around 149 mph and a 0-60 of 2.5 seconds, but we should keep in mind that the electric pickup’s curb weight is considerably beefier than the sedan.

What we can say now are the estimated towing capacities for the Cybertruck trims. Rear-drive variants can pull a max load of 7,500 pounds, while all-wheel and CyberBeast trims can yoink up to 11,000 pounds of stuff wherever they please.

2024 Tesla Cybertruck design features

From initial reports, one of the truly standout features. of the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck is its panoramic glass sunroof and retractable cargo bed cover. While it seems like Tesla abandoned its plans to use the cargo bed cover as a solar panel for additional range and charging, the glass roof is a nice continuation of Tesla’s other electric vehicles. It’s not clear at this time if Tesla will be releasing a convertible or retractable-roof edition.

2024 Tesla Cybertruck review round-up

Sadly, I couldn’t score an invite to the November 30, 2023, Cybertruck event, but in the meanwhile, here are some early takes on the Tesla Cybertruck we’ve found from across “cyberspace.”

Automotive vlogger Joel Franco got an up-close-and-personal look at the exterior of a Tesla Cybertruck in Miami recently and reported that the showroom model seems to have resolved many of the issues with the pre-production trucks. We have to admit, it does look pretty slick.

Aside from these peeks at the showroom models, unbiased reviews are difficult to come by, but it seemed relevant to share this piece of intel from a Tesla insider:

More shared details:

– A guy who was 5’7” was able to lay flat in the frunk.
– no ramp built into the tailgate
– suspension more comfortable than an S/X
– turning radius is amazing
– feels more luxurious than an S/X

— Matthew Donegan-Ryan (@MatthewDR) October 4, 2023

Short kings rejoice! An elite new hiding place for Hide-and-Seek has appeared.

FAQs

When will the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck be released?

The first 10 production models of the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck are set to be delivered at an event on November 30, 2023, at the Gigafactory in Austin, TX. It is not known at the time of publication when the remainder of the pre-orders will be fulfilled.

What will the electric range be for the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck?

The 2024 Tesla Cybertruck will be available in three trim levels, a rear-drive base model with 250 miles of range, a dual-motor version with a 340-mile range, and a tri-motor CyberBeast performance version with a 320-mile range. In recent press releases, Tesla announced an unspecified range extender, which should juice the dual-motor middle trim up to 470 miles and the CyberBeast to 440 miles.

What will the price be for the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck?

Although initial announcements claimed the starting price for the Tesla Cybertruck would be $39,990, it’s looking like the electric pickup truck will end up costing a good amount more. The base rear-drive variant will have an MSRP of around $60,990, with the next-step-up all-wheel drive trim ringing in at $79,990 and the tri-motor CyberBeast flagship Cybertruck starting at $99,990. So no. Not cheap. Not at all.

Can you shoot the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck with a Tommy Gun or arrows?

Yes! Apparently, because the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck boasts 3mm of 301 stainless steel, it should be able to absorb a bullet from a 9mm handgun. According to Musk, it can also handle being broadsided with a Tommy Gun. Online reports (also from Musk) seem to support the idea that the Tesla Cybertruck can even handle being shot with an arrow by Joe Rogan.

Tesla concluded its Q3 earnings earlier today, in which Elon Musk commented that the company has “dug its own grave” with the questionable rollout of its controversial Cybertruck. Musk said he has driven the Cybertruck – calling it “an amazing product,” according to comments recorded by Business Insider. He added, “There will be enormous challenges in reaching volume production with the Cybertruck and in making the Cybertruck cash-flow positive.”

It’s been about 4 years since the polygonal design of the Cybertruck made its public debut. The first batch of the stainless-steel sensation – or, depending on who you ask, misshapen-metal monstrosity – is slated for delivery on November 30, allegedly. However, the Tesla CEO made sure to emphasize we “temper expectations.” Musk admitted, “We dug our own grave with the Cybertruck.”

As it stands, Giga Texas (the Tesla manufacturing plant in said state) has the capacity to make 125,000 trucks a year. By 2025, Musk claimed its annual Cybertruck production will reach 250,000 trucks. The main bottleneck is Tesla’s choice to build the Cybertruck out of stainless steel, coupled with unforgiving flat expanses of bodywork. Or, if you ask Musk, it’s taking so long to arrive because of how “radical” and “special” the Cybertruck is compared to something like the Ford F-150 Lightning and perhaps the upcoming Fisker Alaska.

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In addition to the Cybertruck update, we’ve gotten a look into Tesla’s latest figures – and they aren’t looking so hot. Year-on-year gross profits have fallen by 22% — the weakest performance since the pandemic hit in 2020 Q2. Reported sales for this quarter are at $23.4 billion which did not hit the forecasted $24.3 billion. Around midday Thursday, Tesla shares fell to $220 – a 9% drop.

people say elon isn’t funny but most of us will never even come close to doing anything as hilarious as tanking stock prices because you made a car too pointy pic.twitter.com/B6G5hdz646

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) October 19, 2023

For more Tesla news, read up on what’s to be expected with the 2025 Tesla Model 2 and a look into the new push being made for Tesla Semi production. Then maybe, I don’t know, subscribe to our newsletter?